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Facebook Anonymous

Updated: Jan 1

Hello everyone. I am Richie Sebuharara, and I am addicted to Facebook.


This is a new discovery that I am a little embarrassed to admit, but was eating me up inside. As I continually made fun of my brother's severe addiction, I slowly began to pick up what I now believe is a hereditary trait in our family.


I began to question myself when I arrived in Vestal on Friday, December the 11th. The moment I stepped into my house, I put down all my belongings and headed to the computer to update my status. My updated status read "Daddy's home...". Yet another golden status. Roughly two minutes after I clicked "Share", I signed back on to Facebook to see if anyone had sprinkled their feelings on my status in the form of a red balloon called a notification. Nothing. I proceeded to check at 5 minute increments for the next hour or so. First sign.


The second and more crucial symptom came when my brother ventured off for work on Monday as he does every week. I knew this moment would come but I was far from prepared for it. As I sat in the window and watched him drive off into the snowy horizon, I turned to myself and asked "Richie, what are you going to do until 5 pm?" (it was approximately 9 am when he left). My only other option was to check my Facebook.


From 9 am to 8 pm (my brother had to lift after work), I wasted my time reading pointless stories, and social interviews on Facebook. I saw thousands of pictures that I was not in, read numerous statuses that varied from kids complaining about upcoming exams, song lyrics from their favorite tune, or clever poems and quotes directed towards someone who allegedly has ruined their lives. I also watched videos littered with inside jokes, and an infinite amount of comments about how awesome that night was, and how none of them remember taking the video. I also saw at least a million different groups, pages, and events that people were joining or attending, even if they had no intentions to go forward with any further requirements asked by the groups. As I became more and more addicted, I learned that Farmville and a plethora of childish games seem to be the only work done in high school or college. In case you were wondering, no one commented on my status.


Before I could even stand up and grab something to eat, it was 8 o'clock. I had spent my entire day accomplishing nothing. Instead of reading a novel, I read each and every News Feed that popped up. While I could have been cleaning my house, I was looking at every picture I have ever been tagged in. Quite frankly, I had devoted my whole day to learning absolutely nothing.


What hurts even more is I didn't see it coming. What I assumed would be only a couple minutes, turned into hours upon hours dissecting Facebook. I am truly ashamed of myself.


In actuality, I did not spend that much time on Facebook. I took breaks for eating, lifting, getting the mail and talking to Mr Sebu. All in all, the time that I did spend on Facebook was far too long. This social networking site has taken over the globe and has formed a life of its own. In my first "Welcome Home" exam, I failed miserably. You win some, you lose some. In the future I will have to keep the constant Facebook checks to a minimum. Maybe I'll write a book. Who knows. In the mean time, I will have to make major adjustments in my bad habits.


Thank you for joining me again. It has been my pleasure to bore you. Until next time...it's all good baby baby.


Long Live The Prince

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