Hello my friends,
2017 is approaching us within a few days. As always, New Years Eve, is a time to reconnect with friends and family, while recapping the highlights, low-lights, and preparing for the following year's endeavors. These gatherings can also be characterized through hallowed resolutions and drunken stupors among contemporaries. With all that being said, there is a new fade that will be prevalent this year, that I have been dreading for several months now.
I come to you with a proposition. A simple request, or a definitive cry for help.
PLEASE NO DOG FILTERS.
I have had my fill, and so has everyone else. I am not one to take 'selfies', or even use the word for that matter, but as a member of the Snapchat community, I believe it is my duty to speak out against them. I cannot understand why the filters have become so popular, or why I feel so strongly against them, but that is besides the point.
Now I do not want to come off like a technology-bashing patron, who hasn't quite mastered the functionality of the iPhone 4S, let alone Snapchat and the plethora of meaningless filters flooding the market, but that's exactly what I am.
Do I accept the reasoning behind Snapchat, and other social mediums? Sure. Do I engage in such activities, while trying to craft stories in ways to captivate my alleged audience? At a controlled rate, but yes, yes I do. Do I fault those who use them regularly? Absolutely not. I too have been entrapped in the grasp of social media at moments in my life.
My main beef lies with the over-excessive filters, that quite frankly, serve no purpose. Which brings me back to the dog filters that have been all the rage this year. Besides the fact that I can't see anything in the 'Snap' because of the filter, I am required to listen to the disturbing slurping sound, each time the 'Snapper' opens their mouth. Being the intellectual that I like to pretend that I am, I would like to analyze the 'snap', I want to observe the video/photo, I want to hear what gems of knowledge you may be leaving for me. Instead, I am forced to sit back and feel like I'm watching an episode of Paw Patrol with my (soon to be...Happy Birthday young man) 3 year old nephew. I don't enjoy it with him, and I don't enjoy it on Snapchat.
So what must one do on Snapchat, if one doesn't use the dog, glasses, flower hat, etc filters? Make a story. Take me through a real journey. Give me a beginning, a middle, an ending. What's the plot? Can I have some characters? A cliff hanger? A mystery. I love food, but 200 seconds of your breakfast doesn't constitute as a story...it is just 200 seconds of your breakfast, and if I can't enjoy any of it, then that's just twice as bad.
So with the new year approaching, let us all take our Snapchat stories to the next level. Let's not settle for the norms of the Snapchat world. Let us dig deeper than a filter, and create motion pictures for the masses. Let us elevate the quality of our 'snaps', even at the expense of the quantity of them. The procrastinators need us....but more importantly, I just started to like real dogs, and I am not ready to like Snapchat dogs too.
Well that is all I have for you tonight. Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the Club. I hope I was able to serve some type of purpose for you, and if you have made it to the end and are still looking for entertainment, I apologize, and Netflix is still opened, so you might want to check what they have in stock. It is good to be back my friends, and all sleep well.
Until next time,
Long Live The People
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