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First Date Blues

So, guy meets girl...

Or girl meets guy...

Or person meets person...

Whichever way you spin it, you are approaching the first date.

You've just met each other, so naturally nerves and anxiety are sharing a prolonged high five at your expense.

You've already told your respective group of friends that this "is not a big deal", consequently wasting your Phone-a-Friend option if it suddenly becomes you are on this island alone.

You prepare yourself by completing your necessary hygienic routine and then by putting on one of your finest that was most likely laid out on the bed before placed over your freshly cleansed skin.

This is serious work.

Anticipation calls for action when you sit down across from that special someone as you prepare to embark on the beginning of a truly amazing journey...

Or the beginning of a slow and embarrassing hour that your group of friends will make fun of you about for years to come.

You are both seated and among the nervous chatter, you sheepishly look around each other's eyes, but rarely directly into them.

Some of the smiles are forced, some of the laughs are out of courtesy, most of the time is awkward.

And as if this hasn't been awkward enough, the best is yet to come...

The food is now on the table.

Now you both know that you are both hungry...and if not extremely hungry, you both wouldn't mind eating something.

Here are some of the variables that can potentially make this simple outing a stressful disaster...

What if you eat like a slob?

What if you don't like the food?

What if you want more food?  Like a lot more food?

What if there's food on your shirt? Or on your pants? Or in your teeth?

So many what if's yet none of them are worth it.

Moments like this remind us just how much extra stress we put on ourselves and how unnecessary that stress was in the first place.  Typically we realize this later on, but a lesson is a lesson regardless of when you learn it.

Just think...

Try sitting across from someone while eating food comfortably, without them seeing you eat food comfortably...

It is not possible.

You're only real option to enjoy the time comfortably it to try and erase all of those self-created worries stated above and any others that may occupy your attention.  They aren't as scary as they may seem.

Put those worries on the table.  See what the response is.  The right situations will be compatible and most likely will share similar and refreshing sentiments regarding their own worries, and how none of them are not needed either.

The opportunity to laugh together about these worries still exists, but those worries usually don't find their way to the table.  Typically, we keep them to ourselves.

If your goal is finding a situation where you can be comfortable, it's probably best not to hide what makes you feel comfortable.

There will be insecurities on both sides of the table ranging from choices of cologne/perfume to food allergies.  You are never alone.

Recognize that you are both in the same boat, and there is no need to over-complicate basic activities of life, such as eating if you don't need to.

So, when you are standing in front of the mirror, going over your lines while brushing your teeth for the 12th time...

Just stop for a second and breathe.

Spend more time becoming comfortable with who you are rather than trying to appeal to what you think someone else would want.

Chances are that the right person would much rather be with the person you really are, over the person you are pretending to matter how much nonsense you nervously rambled about on that first encounter.

It will take time, but use that time and be yourself...

You'll thank yourself for it later.

Until next time,

Long Live The People

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