When I come back to Vestal, I have the luxury of letting my hair down, putting my feet up, and really feeling like I am at home. I am always so anxious to visit the house and enjoy my family. Although it is exciting to be back, there is one huge blemish that I can never avoid.
I remember the days when I was a child where sharing a bedroom with my older and cooler brother was the most magnificent thing in the world to me. (He is still older, but I am not ready to admit he is still cooler). Anyways, being away at college taught me the true beauty of having my own room. Not only does my brother wake up at 8 am on the weekdays for work....he wakes up at 8 am on the weekends just for fun. Not a huge problem right? Wrong.
Ever since we SEBU's were little monsters, we have known that when LoLo (Little L) was up, everyone was supposed to be up. Recently, his mornin's usually start with him blasting Miley Cyrus, Lady GaGa, Shakira or the newly installed, Ke$ha's"Tik Tok". All of which are appropriate and nice tunes for me to wake up to, but the other SEBU's aren't necessarily in favor of this method. If his "Good Mornin'" ended here, I would have no objections. As expected, this is just the beginning.
Once he has the background music set up and on repeat, he proceeds back to the room. Normal people usually start to get ready so they can begin their days. I stand by my theory that my brother is not normal and is in fact a Martian. This is his time to wake me up. I didn't ask him to, I never ask him to, he just does. At this point in the morning, I am just finishing up my dreams which always end in some sort of success. I am usually feeling very relaxed and would not want to be disturbed abruptly.
In all my peace, tranquility, and innocence, my brother regards me as a vulture would see a decaying dead animal. At my most vulnerable state, he attacks.
On a good day, my mornings start with him slapping, punching, and kicking me. Those are the mornings I look forward to. More often then not, my mornings start with a variety of different wrestling and choke holds that I obviously cannot battle. Even when I try to anticipate, I am always caught off guard then suddenly am fighting for my life. While I gasp for air and struggle to break the lock he has placed on me, he always greets me with the same harmless, yet spine-chilling phrase.
" I just wanted to say Good Mornin' ".
In case you haven't realized, he refuses to pronounce the "g" in morning.
Once he utters those horrendous words, an animal is unleashed in me. I get so angry and I just want to fight. Looking at our weight difference, many of you probably could imagine that me fighting him would not be a very good idea. I chose the next best alternative. I scream for my mom's help. Once I realize she could care less and isn't coming to save me, I just pray. I pray for him to stop, I pray for an answer, I pray for a savior.
After over 15 minutes of excruciating fighting, he finally stops. He smiles and walks out of the room feeling proud and accomplished. Tired and irate, I try to get comfortable and fall back asleep, but that never happens. My morning has been ruined.
He never misses a morning, and always makes sure each one is worse than the previous. Considering I can't just stop sleeping, I am forced to wake up with this abuse. Life is rough. One day though, mark my word, I shall have my revenge and it will be oh so sweet. After I am victorious in the SEBU-lympics, I will take my newly acquired confidence and return the punishment I have endured over the years. Please expect a post for that monumental day.
In the mean time, thank you for your attention. This is probably a good time to get back to the work you are procrastinating on. I give you permission to do so. Until next time, stay thirsty my friends.
Long Live The Prince
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