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What's Beef?

Updated: Jan 1

Tupac vs. Biggie.....Yankees vs. Red Sox.....LeBron vs. Kobe.....Richie vs. Santa


Over the last few years, I have sensed a little bit of tension between me and Jolly Ole Saint Nick. Truthfully, I am not exactly sure what I have done to make him angry but I have certainly upset Kris Kringle.


I have noticed a trend lately. As we approach the Holiday season, everyone plans out their wishful Christmas lists. Just as everybody did, I would follow the procedure and think of everything I wanted. I am quite greedy and have realized that my humble lists have grown from year to year to small novels that I am now quite embarrassed by. Don't judge me.


Now in all fairness, since my lists were quite cumbersome, I chose to be on my best behavior for 364 days of the year (April 8th is my day to be wild). Considering on my designated wild day I usually bask in the glory of yet another year of prestige and do absolutely nothing, my 365 days are untarnished (I do not believe in leap year). Quite the track record but somehow I find myself always on the naughty list every December 25th.


Each year, for the past 5 or so, I have been struck by what I like to call "Santa's Revenge". I get sick 1 time a year and I find it strange that it is always the week of Christmas. It is one of two things.


  1. I am allergic to Christmas

  2. Me and Santa are beefin'

Obviously the first scenario is far fetched and not realistic, so I'm forced to believe Santa has some sort of vendetta against me. For what reason? I do not know. I am requesting a meeting between myself and Mr. Kringle. I find it unjust that Santa could single me out for whatever reason and send me illnesses as oppose to gifts. I do not appreciate battling the common cold every Christmas.


If anyone is in contact with Mr. Claus, let him know that I am looking for him. Clearly he has lost my address and all my contact information. More importantly, he is on the brink of losing my respect. I'm giving it one more year. If I get sick next Christmas Santa, I promise you this.....I will find you. Let us squash this beef, and return to the days where I anticipated your arrival rather than formulate a strategy to combat it.


I apologize for my uncharacteristically bad mood, it's just that this sickness has overstayed its visit and my body has had enough.


In other news. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.


Until next time, don't stop, make it pop, DJ blow my speakers up.


Long Live The Prince

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